February 15, 2011

a genesis of sorts.

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:14 am by kaylynlorraine

i don’t know how to describe last night. right now i can’t. maybe i never will. or maybe one day i will get around to it. all i can say is, the Holy Spirit moved in that room. the Holy Spirit is still permeating in my heart and in my soul and in my mind.

there was so much joy. so much freedom. i walked in anxious about everything, and left with immense joy. collectively the hearts gathered among one another and danced in this dance with God. i felt inspired. finally a break through. i felt like i could begin to let go. yes, again. i let go all of the time. once everything is out of my hands, i somehow find a way to manage whatever it is back into my fingertips because i don’t like the feeling of having cold, dead feeling hands. i don’t like the empty feeling. i like being filled. i like having something to hold on to.

why must everything i hold on to be something that i can literally try to hold on to?

sometimes when i want to give up, something inside of me screams to be let out. maybe it’s my heart longing for the answers to my questions, and life’s questions, and the world’s questions of “why?” and “for what purpose?”

as my lungs fill with new breath, a birth of a vision comes to my mind. not a new vision, but a reminder of what once was. what filters out as a black and white film becomes color – becomes new dreams of today and tomorrow.

and the answer: because He is God. because He has called us to be with Him. to join in the dance of God that has been going on longer than i truly understand. He wants me to join Him. co-labor with Him. He wants me to follow.                  And I follow.